In a multicultural world of many souls and the
complexity of social media we meet and connect with different individuals
without really knowing who we meet or connect with. Since the 20 century the
Western world has seen a rise of psychopathy in society, by society. Society
shows not only but mainly an increase in narcissistic personality disorder. The
personalities come in different layers of society so it maybe good an
interesting to recognize them on forehand. The following article sheds more
light on the issue and place some landmarks
The term narcissism is related to Greek mythology and
the story of Narcissus. Narcissus
was handsome, arrogant, and self-involved-and in love with his own image. He
couldn’t tear himself away from his reflection in a pool of water, and
ultimately his self-love consumed him. He died gazing at himself in the water.
In everyday usage, narcissism refers to someone who is arrogantly
self-absorbed. Self-love, on the other hand, has come to mean a healthy love of
oneself that does not preclude the ability to love others.
Engaging in a conversation with a narcissist can leave
someone feeling like banging their head against a brick wall. This may sound
like an exaggeration; but, in truth, a brick wall may possess the same levels
of empathy, understanding, and validation that a narcissist does. Why? Because
these people couldn’t care less about what you’re saying; no matter the logic
or meaningfulness behind your intended dialogue.
But, what is the psychological definition of
narcissism-and, more specifically, maternal narcissism? The Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissism as a
personality disorder classified by the nine traits listed below. Narcissism is
a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from a few
narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder.
So how do we spot a narcist
Conversing with a narcissist can be described in four
ways: confusing, dizzying, infuriating and meaningless. As for the effects of
such conversations, narcissistic people possess the innate “gift” of shifting
any sense of their own insecurity and unworthiness to anyone who will listen.
Apparently, the oft-felt repercussions of conversing with a narcissist leave
the victim (and victims, they are) feeling far worse off than having become
involved in a conversation with such a character in the first place. Another
“talent” of narcissists is evoking a sense of blame, doubt, and uncertainty –
all primary objectives of such a deluded, manipulative individual. Make no
mistake; narcissists know exactly what they’re doing. Not only are they
privy to their ambitions, but narcissists also experience an elevated sense of
superiority and invincibility for having duped someone else.
One underlying trait of almost all narcissists is the
need to be at the center of attention. The psychological term for this
insatiable necessity is “narcissistic supply,” or the need for continual reaffirmation
of self-perceived value. In this article, we narrow the focus to the
conversational. More specifically, we’ll discuss a few telltale signs of
narcissism from a conversational perspective. In particular, we’ll discuss some
commonly exhibited behaviors or narcissists that illustrate their irrational
desires to be at the center of attention. Here are five behaviors of
narcissists exhibit to become the center of attention:
1. The Reverse Projection
Before knowing that we’re in the company of a narcissist,
we’ll relate to the person as if they’re rational human beings. As we don’t
purposely deceive or manipulate people, we innately trust that others will
reciprocate such qualities. However, when this trust is violated, we’ll often
feel confused, hurt and – in a way – responsible for the narcissist’s behavior.
The horrible thing is that this is exactly what narcissistic people want. Without
diligent caution, a narcissist can quickly “twist the conversation,” making you
take on the burden of guilt. Meanwhile, the narcissist subtly reverses reality
of the situation and takes on the role of an innocent victim. In other words,
they reverse roles.
2. Incessant Blaming
Narcissists will intently switch sensitive topics
(e.g., work responsibilities) to divert your attention. They do so to put you
in a defensive position, regardless of merit behind such tactics. They’ll
interrogate, focusing on any and all real or perceived faults.
In turn, you’ll rightly defend yourself. Meanwhile,
the narcissist will continue to hammer away at their inconceivable notion about
you “being in the wrong.” Concurrently, they’ll refuse any accountability for
their behavior and leave you in a resistive state. All the while, they’ll
justify their “blame game” by pointing their fingers at you for having created
any drama or problems in the relationship.
3. Shock And Awe
When a narcissist apparently displays anger or rage,
it is their intention to bully you into submission. This is an enigma, as
narcissists typically don’t exhibit such vocal or physical behaviors. The
intent here is to confuse and intimidate their victim. Rational people,
especially those not usually accustomed to such outbursts, may become confused
and intimidated. As a result, the victim may let down their defenses and become
susceptible to suggestion. A weakened state is what the narcissist wants, as it
leaves you vulnerable to their unquenchable need for control and dominance.
4. Playing the Victim
Deceitful people love playing the victim, and
narcissists certainly fall under this category. Narcissists accomplish this by
garnering undeserving pity. The tragedy is that this manipulative tactic is
executed at the expense of another – a person who is often the deserved
recipient of good will from others. Though narcissists are an
emotionally-neutral group, they acutely understand the power of human empathy.
This knowledge is used to counter any real or perceived “threat” to their
self-glossed superior standing. In the event that they hurt someone, they’ll
take on a defense position – this often involves the emotional manipulation
those close to you.
5. Interrupting
Narcissists have an insatiable desire to be the center
of attention at all times. When the topic at hand does not involve them,
they’ll quickly interrupt the dialogue and attempt to refocus the
conversation back to themselves.
If someone vehemently interjects, attempting to
redirect the conversation, they’re quickly neutralized by the narcissist and
rendered to silence. This is a narcissist’s optimal result. Should such a
malignant attempt fail, the individual will immediately be placed on the
narcissist’s “hit list” – a perceived threat to be dealt with according to the
narcissist’s distorted view on what’s truly important…them and them only.
Source:
American Psychiatric Association: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental
Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric
Association, 2000. p. 717
